U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
