I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
