It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
it's like heaven, but drunker
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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