Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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