Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
