how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
