how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
