In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Bring me that man meat
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
