I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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