Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
