just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
