She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
