Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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