I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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