guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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