You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
