Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
