You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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