erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
