I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
