oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
