So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you win again, gameday.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
