i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize