I'm jealous of your bromance
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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