Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
