so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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