Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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