I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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