If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
