:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
