I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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