Just mADE A PArabola og urine
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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