i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
