She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
