Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
