i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
