remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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