If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Randomize
