You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize