I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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