i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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