North Korea, Best Korea!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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