why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize