If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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