Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
