I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
