Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
