well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
