I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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