"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
