his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
