so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
