And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize