we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
