You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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