You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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