Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize