capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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