Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
