You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
