I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize