now i know why i became what i already was.
Actions speak louder than pants.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
