I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
