Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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