So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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