Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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